Page Six

ahmoacah: Why does my job's Group Life insurance policy give me a dollar every paycheck?
teach: Because you didn't die, ahm.


Just before I left for my spring break trip to Toronto:
* Cynthia has to go now.
Sosiqui: HAVE FUN
Zarniwoop: Safe journey!
Cynthia: Bye! I'll be back on Wednesday!
Zarniwoop: Don't do anything I wouldn't, and all that.
Cynthia: Heheh. Is there anything you wouldn't do, Zarnidear? :-)
Rabbitlord: Zarniwoop: If she heeds that advice she'll be either dead or drunk by Monday.

The day after I had oral surgery ...
* Cynthia had to take another painkiller just then. Ugh.
Zullin: Check the bottle to make sure it doesn't say "For Horses Only."

It was Stupid Day. What can I say?
* Everyone is given a killer @-`-,--`,--`-,-- by Ellmyruh.
Cynthia: AAAAAAAAAAAAH! Killer rose!
* Cynthia whimpers and looks for someone to save her.
Ellmyruh: O:-)
* Zarniwoop makes a valiant rescue attempt.
* Zarniwoop creeps up on the killer rose with a vase.
Zarniwoop: *WHACK!*
* Zarniwoop captures the killer rose.
Cynthia: Oh, Zarni! My hero!
*flyingcats* That WOULD be the point where you threw your arms around him and sucked his face out.
* Cynthia notes that the script calls for her to fling her arms around Zarni and give him muchas smoochies.
*flyingcats* "Oh, Zarni! My hero! Sluuuuuuuurp!"
* Cynthia calls her stunt double flyingcats to do this scene.
flyingcats: Sorry, you'll have to use Ell.
flyingcats: She's redheaded and short, like you. A fine stunt double.
* Zarniwoop waits patiently.
Cynthia: Oh, whatever. It's a holiday.
* Cynthia flings her arms around Zarniwoop and gives him muchas smoochies.
* Cynthia now waits for this to show up on everyone's quote pages so she can be appropriately mocked FOREVAR.
* Ellmyruh is auburn-headed, thank you.
flyingcats: *auburn-headed
flyingcats: You're welcome.
Ellmyruh: And I'm not extremely short.
Cynthia: >:-|
* Zarniwoop cowers behind a rock.
Ellmyruh: Ok, so I'm not all that tall, either. But that's ok by me.
flyingcats: Yeah, there's nothing wrong with being short.
Zullin: There is if you want to be a chorus-line girl.
* Ellmyruh hasn't ever gotten "chorus-line girl" as a result when she's taken career placement tests.
* wintermute never got "Emperor of the Moon", but it doensn't stop me trying...
wintermute: *doesn't
Zullin: I don't think I've ever taken a career-placement test. I would probably get something like "postmodern clown."

Sosiqui: My typopo demons are winged monkeys. I can't remember who decided this.
Cynthia: :-*:-*:-*
Sosiqui: LOL
Sosiqui: No, it wasn't Monkeyman.
Sundragyn: Can you imagine if we didn't have :-*? How would we manage?
Cynthia: Sun: flyingcats' linecounts would plummet.

* Cynthia curls up on the RinkCouch and takes a nap.
Zarniwoop: Goin' underground...
illyandra: Man, Rinkworks has everything.
ahmoacah: Butofcourse!
Zarniwoop: When I was a young boy...
* Cynthia chucks a throw pillow at Zarn.
Zarniwoop: My mother said to me:
Zarniwoop: There's only one girl in the world for you,
RinkChat: User Zarniwoop has been kicked from the room by Cynthia.
Zarniwoop has left.
Cynthia: And she isn't here.
* Cynthia rolls over and goes back to sleep.
ahmoacah: *blink*
Zarniwoop has entered.
illyandra: LOL Cynthia!
Zarniwoop: And she probably lives in Tahiti.
* Zarniwoop throws the same pillow back at Cynthia.
Liface has entered.
* Zarniwoop misses an hits Liface as he enters.
illyandra: It IS a throw pillow...
Liface has left.
Zarniwoop: Eh up.
* Zarniwoop watches it bounce off Liface's HARD MAN head, over towards ahmoacah.
* ahmoacah dodges the pillow.
Zarniwoop: I hit him just as he left.
Zarniwoop: Bouncy pillow, what.

* Zarniwoop has just thought up another song.
Zarniwoop: To the tune of 'Amore'...
Zarniwoop: 'Ode to Cynthia Dealing With Lamers'
Zarniwoop: When you're in the lobby, see them out 1 2 3, that's Cynthia!
Zarniwoop: (Repeat until kicked)

Zarniwoop: Here's a really simple one.
Zarniwoop: To the tune of 'Go West' (inspired by 'One-Nil to the Arsenal', by the North Bank)
Zarniwoop: Advice to all Chatters
Zarniwoop: Don't mess around near Cynthia...
Zarniwoop: Don't mess around near Cynthia...
Zarniwoop: Don't mess around near Cynthia...
Zarniwoop: Don't mess around near Cynthia!
Zarniwoop: (Repeat until advice is sufficiently drilled into brain)

It's fun to be the birthday girl!
* Cynthia beams. You all are so nice!
Nyperold: :-)
* Cynthia is given a @-`-,--`,--`-,-- by Sosiqui.
* Cynthia is given a @-`-,--`,--`-,-- by Nyperold.
* Cynthia twirls around the room, bestowing hugs and @-`-,--`,--`-,--s.
* Ria decides to continue the pattern.
* Cynthia is given a @-`-,--`,--`-,-- by Ria.
* Ria can't type fast enough, though, apparently. ;)
* Cynthia is given a horsey smile by Sundragyn.
* Sosiqui gives Cynthia @-`-,--`,--`-,-- @-`-,--`,--`-,-- @-`-,--`,--`-,-- @-`-,--`,--`-,-- @-`-,--`,--`-,-- @-`-,--`,--`-,-- @-`-,--`,--`-,-- @-`-,--`,--`-,-- @-`-,--`,--`-,-- @-`-,--`,--`-,-- @-`-,--`,--`-,-- @-`-,--`,--`-,--
Marvin: You're all unoriginal.
Cynthia: Sun: A PONY!!!!!!!!! It's just what I ALWAYS wanted!
* Cynthia is given a :dog: by Nyperold.
* Cynthia is given a @-`-,--`,--`-,-- @-`-,--`,--`-,-- @-`-,--`,--`-,-- @-`-,--`,--`-,-- @-`-,--`,--`-,-- @-`-,--`,--`-,-- @-`-,--`,--`-,-- @-`-,--`,--`-,-- @-`-,--`,--`-,-- @-`-,--`,--`-,-- @-`-,--`,--`-,-- @-`-,--`,--`-,-- @-`-,--`,--`-,-- @-`-,--`,--`-,-- @-`-,--`,--`-,-- @-`-,--`,--`-,-- @-`-,--`,--`-,-- @-`-,--`,--`-,-- @-`-,--`,--`-,-- @-`-,--`,--`-,-- @-`-,--`,--`-,-- @-`-,--`,--`-,-- @-`-,--`,--`-,-- @-`-,--`,--`-,-- @-`-,--`,--`-,-- @-`-,--`,--`-,-- @-`-,--`,--`-,-- @-`-,--`,--`-,-- @-`-,--`,--`-,-- @-`-,--`,--`-,-- @-`-,--`,--`-,-- @-`-,--`,--`-,-- @-`-,--`,--`-,-- @-`-,--`,--`-,-- @-`-,--`,--`-,-- @-`-,--`,--`-,-- @-`-,--`,--`-,-- @-`-,--`,--`-,-- @-`-,--`,--`-,-- @-`-,--`,--`-,-- @-`-,--`,--`-,-- @-`-,--`,--`-,-- @-`-,--`,--`-,-- @-`-,--`,--`-,-- @-`-,--`,--`-,-- @-`-,--`,--`-,-- @-`-,--`,--`-,-- @-`-,--`,--`-,-- @-`-,--`,--`-,-- @-`-,--`,--`-,-- @-`-,--`,--`-,-- @-`-,--`,--`-,-- @-`-,--`,--`-,-- @-`-,--`,--`-,-- @-`-,--`,--`-,-- @-`-,--`,--`-,-- @-`-,--`,--`-,-- @-`-,--`,--`-,-- @-`-,--`,--`-,-- @-`-,--`,--`-,-- @-`-,--`,--`-,-- @-`-,--`,--`-,-- @-`-,--`,--`-,-- @-`-,--`,--`-,-- @-`-,--`,--`-,-- @-`-,--`,--`-,-- @-`-,--`,--`-,-- @-`-,--`,--`-,-- @-`-,--`,--`-,-- @-`-,--`,--`-,-- @-`-,--`,--`-,-- @-`-,--`,--`-,-- @-`-,--`,--`-,-- @-`-,--`,--`-,-- @-`-,--`,--`-,-- @-`-,--`,--`-,-- @-`-,--`,--`-,-- @-`-,--`,--`-,-- @-`-,--`,--`-,-- @-`-,--`,--`-,-- @-`-,--`,--`-,-- @-`-,--`,--`-,-- @-`-,--`,--`-,-- @-`-,--`,--`-,-- @-`-,--`,--`-,-- @-`-,--`,--`-,-- @-`-,--`,--`-,-- @-`-,--`,--`-,-- @-`-,--`,--`-,-- @-`-,--`,--`-,-- @-`-,--`,--`-,-- @-`-,--`,--`-,-- @-`-,--`,--`-,-- @-`-,--`,--`-,-- @-`-,--`,--`-,-- @-`-,--`,--`-,-- @-`-,--`,--`-,-- @-`-,--`,--`-,-- @-`-,--`,--`-,-- @-`-,--`,--`-,-- @-`-,--`,--`-,-- @-`-,--`,--`-,-- @-`-,--`,--`-,-- by Monkeyman.
Beasty: Sosi: Was that a dozen?
Sosiqui: Beasty: MINE was a dozen.
* Sosiqui has no idea what Monkeyman's was.
Ria: A gross, maybe. I don't want to count.
* Cynthia is buried under a pony, a puppy, and five billion roses.
* Cynthia loves being loved.
Sosiqui: Monkeyman is abusing the copy-paste. ;)
* Marvin gives Cynthia a @-`-,--`,--`-,--
Cynthia: Oooh, a blue one.
Marvin: HA! A blue @-`-,--`,--`-,-- Take THAT
Ria: Monkeyman gave Cynthia 103 roses.
Monkeyman: Um, that was cool.

Claire lives next door to me. She is very cool and just happened to come up in the conversation.
Wormwood: Cynthia: Is Claire hot?
* Cynthia is not exactly in the business of determining female hotness.
Stephen: Cynthia: Right. That's my job.
Cynthia: Ww: And I would kick your butt if you tried to date Claire anyway.
Mia: Stephen: Yup. Like my job is to check out all the guys.
Wormwood: Cynthia: Why would you kick my butt if I tried to date Claire?
Cynthia: Ww: Because.
TOM: Because then Cynthia would be jealous.
Cynthia: TOM: Don't get me started on you, dearie.
TOM: So you don't deny it, then?
Sundragyn: Cynthia: You should say "dearie" more often. "I'll kick your butt, dearie."
Cynthia: TOM: I will remove your intestines via your throat, dearie.
TOM: You wouldn't dare.
Sundragyn: See, that's more like it.
Cynthia: No, I wouldn't do that to Gahalia.
ahmoacah: Now that's classic Cynthia.
Wormwood: That sounds painful.
TOM: No, you probably wouldn't do it to her, either.
RinkChat: The chat room topic has been changed to 'TOM and Gahalia, sitting in a tree ...' by Cynthia.
RinkChat: The chat room topic has been removed by Cynthia.
TOM: What's that supposed to mean, dearest Grandmother Cynthia?
ahmoacah: It means the fire department arrived.
* Monkeyman is confused now.

Phasmo42: I would like to show you a trick.
Etienne: Show the trick!
* Phasmo42 gets a tuba.
* Phasmo42 gets a hand grenade.
* Phasmo42 gets a shoe.
Cynthia: Phasmo, this had better not suck. You're building up my suspense levels.
* Phasmo42 gets banana puree, milk, jello, and pudding.
* Zarniwoop 's ego has nearly escaped, so he will leave soon and yield #1 which he has held for the past six hours or so.
Phasmo42: I need a volunteer.
* Phasmo42 gets Zarniwoop's ego.
* Zarniwoop shoves Cynthia forward.
* Etienne will not volunteer for that
Zarniwoop: She wants to!
Cynthia: Zarni: Thanks. I love you, too.
* Phasmo42 stuffs Cynthia and all the items in the tuba.
Zarniwoop: :-)
Cynthia: If anything happens to me, you will feel my WRATH!
* Zarniwoop puts up a pathetically small umbrella.
* Phasmo42 needs another meanish volunteer.
* Etienne starts blowing in his inflatable nuclear bunker
* Zarniwoop shoves Mensekemeser forward.
Zarniwoop: Use him! He likes it!
* Phasmo42 pulls the string on the grenade.
* Zarniwoop whistles innocently.
* Cynthia is going to shove Zarniwoop off the edge of a cliff if she ever gets out of the tuba.
* Athaleon would volunteer, but doubts he could fit in the tuba
Mensekemeser: Huh? I just went away for a second. What's going on?
Phasmo42: [Mensekemeser] Blow the tuba!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Phasmo42: Hurrrrrryyyyyyy!!!!!!1
* Zarniwoop pushes Mense out of the way and blows the tuba with a BIG set of bellows.
* Mensekemeser blows the tuba, he supposes
* Cynthia can sense the impending suffering of several people.
Mensekemeser: Oh. Hm. Well, in either case, I still blow.
Cynthia: If I'm going to suffer, then you're ALL going to suffer.
* Phasmo42 watches as Cynthia, the stuff, and the grenade fly everywhere.
Zarniwoop: Well, that was fun.
Athaleon: Oooh. Flying stuff!
* Phasmo42 then sees the grenade land on Zarniwoop's head.
* Zarniwoop runs away. Terribly fast.
Zarniwoop: :-P
Zarniwoop has left.
Zarniwoop has entered.
* Etienne hides in his shelter
Cynthia: That SUCKED.
RinkChat: User Phasmo42 has been kicked from the room by Cynthia.
RinkChat: User Mensekemeser has been kicked from the room by Cynthia.
Phasmo42 has left.
Mensekemeser has left.
RinkChat: User Zarniwoop has been kicked from the room by Cynthia.
An_Inquisitor has entered.
Cynthia: Next time, DON'T volunteer the op.
Phasmo42 has entered.
Mensekemeser has entered.
Etienne: Hehehehe
An_Inquisitor: Hey, I left! That's not fair! I was already logged out!
An_Inquisitor: Sorry, had to see the aftermath. I'll be off now.
* Mensekemeser rubs his rear. Kicks hurt.
* Phasmo42 notices Cynthia's green label thingy.
* Cynthia apologizes then, but slightly resents being shoved into a tuba with many foreign objects.
Mensekemeser: Hey, all I know is that someone shoved me forward and told me to blow on a tuba.
* Cynthia just kicked all involved.
* Cynthia is being nice now. Really.
* Mensekemeser pouts.
* Cynthia HUGS Mensekemeser!
* Mensekemeser is given a @-`-,--`,--`-,-- by Cynthia.
RinkChat: The chat room topic has been changed to 'Mensekemeser RULES!' by Cynthia.
* Mensekemeser has been apologized to by Cynthia.
* Everyone is given a @-`-,--`,--`-,-- by Phasmo42.
* Mensekemeser cheers up a bit.

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