I got this from TOM, by way of Randy. TOM wrote of the transcript at the time: "I didn't get the very beginning of this. I had been /away, at dinner I believe, and came back to find Zarni struggling to maintain his sanity. ;-)" My question to TOM: WHAT sanity?

eviltoaster: ahhhh
eviltoaster: lauren/
eviltoaster: ?
eviltoaster: is anyone else on?
Zarniwoop: I'm here. I'd just rather talk to the wall right now.
eviltoaster: i like walls
eviltoaster: they talk back u kno?
SadisticCracker: i think i went out with a wall once
eviltoaster: i hav good conversations before
eviltoaster: more stimulant thean with guys
eviltoaster: good times good times
eviltoaster: but than i found webb
eviltoaster: =-)
Zarniwoop: I'm sorry. You obviously mistake me for someone who cares.
SadisticCracker: lalla
eviltoaster: oh jeez im sorry
SadisticCracker: oooh catfight
SadisticCracker: zarniwoop on the warpath
eviltoaster: is this not a public place/
eviltoaster: ?
SadisticCracker: evil toaster in her own little corner, singing disney songs
SadisticCracker: who will win?
SadisticCracker: or will it be.... sadistic cracker, chucking crackers at the idle chat paritcipants?
eviltoaster: i'll say wat ever i want to
eviltoaster: and if u dont like it than leave
SadisticCracker: TELL IT, SISTA!
[TOM->Zarniwoop] What the HELL is going on?
eviltoaster: my sista from anotha mista
[TOM->Zarniwoop] WHERE are all the ops? (More importantly)
[Zarniwoop->TOM] *shrug*
[TOM->Zarniwoop] I'd mock them, but I don't think it's really worth it.
[Zarniwoop->TOM] I'm trying furiously to insult them, but it doesn't appear to be working.
SadisticCracker has left.
[TOM->Zarniwoop] LOL
TOM is back.
eviltoaster: ah
eviltoaster: well
[Zarniwoop->TOM] I don't think they have the necessary brain capacity to get wound up ant anything anyone says on a level above UR GAY
eviltoaster: hi tom
[TOM->Zarniwoop] LOL....that appears to be very true.
TOM: TOM. Not tom.
TOM: And hello.
eviltoaster: oh dry for my stupidness
eviltoaster: *sry
TOM: Yeah. Sry. Whatever the hell that means.
eviltoaster: sorry
TOM: Now, was that so hard to type out?
eviltoaster: hmmm
TOM: Don't think too hard.
eviltoaster: ur too sarcastic
Zarniwoop: Don't want to wear those poor grey cells out.
eviltoaster: u kno
TOM: Am not.
TOM: I am the least sarcastic person I've ever met.
eviltoaster: people dont appreciate sacasticness
Zarniwoop: You won't be able to destroy them with drugs later in life if you did that.
TOM: Sure they do.
TOM: People don't appreciate people that can't spell out the word "sorry."
TOM: Now that's a fact.
Zarniwoop: *I* appreciate sarcasm. I *don't* appreciate you.
TOM: My sarcasm is well appreciated. Assuming I had any. Which I don't.
eviltoaster: ohh well exscuse me monsiur
TOM: And we don't appreciate the French, either. So keep their language out of here.
Zarniwoop: You're exscused.
eviltoaster: jeez
eviltoaster: thanks
eviltoaster: really
TOM: In fact, I'm hard pressed to find *anybody* who appreciates the French.
eviltoaster: u just made my day
Zarniwoop: The pleasure is all yours.
TOM: Oh, you're welcome.
TOM: Really.
eviltoaster: really?
eviltoaster: ohh
TOM: No.
TOM: I was being sarcastic.
TOM: Maybe.
eviltoaster: maybe not
SadisticCracker has entered.
TOM: No. Not maybe not. Maybe.
eviltoaster: heeey sc
SadisticCracker: Hello.
[TOM->Zarniwoop] Ah....the other half of the tag team is back.
eviltoaster: wats shakin bacon/
eviltoaster: ?
* TOM sees a cracker. Not bacon.
Zarniwoop: How would one shake bacon?
SadisticCracker: wow, you guys are smart as hell. cough.
TOM: To get the fat off, I presume.
eviltoaster: ahem
Zarniwoop: Is it some sort of ritual you idiots undertake regularly or just a one-off shot?
eviltoaster: ahem
SadisticCracker: of course
[TOM->Zarniwoop] LOL
SadisticCracker: being an idiot is hard work, my pms'ing friend!
eviltoaster: ehe
TOM: It sure seems it.
eviltoaster: it is
TOM: I bet.
TOM: Just how do you do it?
SadisticCracker: what, pms'ing or being an idiot
Zarniwoop: Both.
TOM: Shaking bacon.
eviltoaster: its really not that hard
[Zarniwoop->TOM] Are you saving this?
[TOM->Zarniwoop] Not yet...
[TOM->Zarniwoop] Starting now, though.
Zarniwoop: Good job, or you wouldn't manage it.
[Zarniwoop->TOM] Good.
eviltoaster: what?
SadisticCracker: ouch, diss
TOM: Huh?
Zarniwoop: Oh sorry. I didn't use words of one syllable.
TOM: Yes. Bad Zarn. No cookie for you.
TOM: Or bacon, either.
SadisticCracker: Oh sorry. I'm not trying to look intelligent all the time.
masterko has entered.
Zarniwoop: It. Is. A. Good. Thing. Shaking. Bacon. Is. Easy. Or. You. Would. Have. Problems. With. It.
eviltoaster: well
masterko: hello all!
TOM: Hey, masterko.
eviltoaster: oh really?
Zarniwoop: I can live without bacon.
TOM: Nope.
SadisticCracker: you idiot, we're not iliterate, although you're thoughts that you're so intelligent may so otherwise
Zarniwoop: *splutter*
eviltoaster: yas i agree
SadisticCracker: i enjoy being random and not making sense
Zarniwoop: No response necessary there.
TOM: Zarn: Care to translate the sentence into normal English?
masterko: ditto!
SadisticCracker: i dont enjoy sounding like... well... you....
eviltoaster: randomosity
TOM: You don't? That's a shame.
SadisticCracker: randomosity. right on, toaster.
Zarniwoop: Oh, good. Could you then be rondom somewhere else?
eviltoaster: no
masterko: rondom?
eviltoaster: like it here
Zarniwoop: And if you could see your way to dying while you're at it, then the world will be far better off.
masterko: the kingdom of Ron?
Zarniwoop: Ha. Ha. Ha. No.
SadisticCracker: ramen!!!
SadisticCracker: i love rame;n
SadisticCracker: ramen**
eviltoaster: haahaahah
eviltoaster: i love cheesecake
eviltoaster: its good
eviltoaster: taylor put that inmy bio
eviltoaster: *in my
SadisticCracker: tayloR?
Zarniwoop: Do you mind? Soft porn is not a topic of discussion here.
SadisticCracker: taylor who?
eviltoaster: lets play a game
TOM: No.
masterko: yeah!
Zarniwoop: Okay, let's play a game.
eviltoaster: its called shut the fork up for 30 minutes
TOM: The fork's not talking, though.
Zarniwoop: Why don't you see how quickly you can click that little link called "Leave"?
masterko: um....I was thinking Molebot.
masterko: but that's just me
eviltoaster: it is to me
eviltoaster: the fork i mean
TOM: I bet it is.
Zarniwoop: You like cutlery, then?
masterko: cutrely?
TOM: Only on bacon.
eviltoaster: in our world we are all little forks
SadisticCracker: im a cracker, as a matter of fact
TOM: Liar.
eviltoaster: well im a toaster
eviltoaster: but
Zarniwoop: You're certainly crackers.
SadisticCracker: You know it, baby
eviltoaster: all the ahem regular ahem people r forks
Zarniwoop: I see. And where do you buy your acid from?
SadisticCracker: the corner store
eviltoaster: umm actually im on speed
TOM: This theory of yours is absolutely fascinating. I hope that you can continue to propound upon it, in the hopes that a desirable compromise can be attained.
TOM: Like one that involves you, say, leaving.
eviltoaster: umm no
SadisticCracker: sounds great
eviltoaster: it \really doesnt
eviltoaster: i can think bout it fine from here
masterko: ditto here!
Zarniwoop: Or dying.
SadisticCracker: i like how you guys use big words to try and intimidate us who dont care.
masterko: I can fix up that!
TOM: Actually, that's how I normally talk.
eviltoaster: im already dead
eviltoaster: can u die twice?
SadisticCracker: im a good hitman! pick me! pick me!
Zarniwoop: That could be arranged.
TOM: I'm already having to lower myself to make sure my point gets across, anyways.
masterko: yup! you can be scared to death twice!
TOM: Which you seem to missing, nonetheless.
SadisticCracker: how old are you all
TOM: 8.
TOM: You're being outsmarted by an 8 year old. How does that make you feel?
masterko: 1 1/2 months old
Zarniwoop: Ah, that explains it.
SadisticCracker: well tom, it makes me feel fabulous
masterko: I'm joking!
TOM: Good. That's what I was hoping for.
eviltoaster has left.
TOM: That's a shame.
masterko: he would have made a great punching bag...
SadisticCracker: eviltoaster is much more intelligent in real life. and its a she, my friends, not a he.
TOM: And a human, not a toaster.
masterko: oh...sorry!
* masterko is ashamed
Zarniwoop: Amazing how retarded the internet can make some people.
SadisticCracker: yes, yes i agree
TOM: Or how big a liar it can make them.
SadisticCracker: but thats just the fun of it
TOM: Not that that point is in any way related to this discussion.
Zarniwoop: What, acting like a retard is fun?
SadisticCracker: anyone can use big words and look smart...
TOM: No. Only I can.
Zarniwoop: Anyone can act like a retard, as well. Your point?
TOM: And Zarn, sometimes.
TOM: Zarn: Your mistake is assuming that there was a point.
SadisticCracker: zarn, if i were a little kid, you'd be the kind of person that i'd look at and run and hide from. which can be taken as a compliment.
SadisticCracker: if you aren't narrow minded. coughcoughcough
* masterko lol's quietly
TOM: No. If you were a little kid, you wouldn't be such an ass, and Zarn wouldn't give you any cause to make you run.
SadisticCracker: I take pride in my assisoity
masterko: NO...BAD...WORDS...IN...HERE!!!!!!!
TOM: Zarn dresses up as Santa Claus for the mall at Christmas. Little kids love him, don't they Zarn? ;-)
masterko: if sam catches you....I fear to wonder.
Zarniwoop: Piss off.
* SadisticCracker makes tom sit in the corner for swearing in the chatroom
SadisticCracker: i think zarniwoop is experiencing pms. or some manly pms.
* TOM doubts very much that Sam would care that he just said "ass," given the way the evening's been going.
* SadisticCracker swears a lot but is trying to restrain herself
* masterko kicks TOM to remind him to not say bad words.
* Zarniwoop thinks that Sam would probably be employing industrial language too if he were in here.
* SadisticCracker says fork
SadisticCracker: damnit, it censored me!
TOM: Fascinating.
* Zarniwoop swears every third bloody word in real life, but can control himself perfectly well in here, because he has a brain.
* SadisticCracker questions zarniwoop's brain theory
* TOM question's your ability to question.
* masterko screams at the top of his lungs," DON'T SWEAR IN HERE!!!!!
masterko: *please?
* SadisticCracker laughs at masterko, in a semi friendly way
* SadisticCracker doesn't understand masterko's swear-o-phobia
* masterko thinks SadisticCracker is asking for a fight!!
* TOM laughs at SadisticCracker, without any sort of qualifier.
Zarniwoop: Yes, go and have a fight. ELSEWHERE.
* SadisticCracker feels special for being made fun of by tom
[Zarniwoop->TOM] WHERE IS EVERYONE????
[TOM->Zarniwoop] I don't know!
* SadisticCracker thinks zarniwoop should join in the festivities and argue
Zarniwoop: You want to feel even more special? Go jump off a bridge.
[TOM->Zarniwoop] All the ops on my AIM list are either not online or away! Or idle!
masterko: (amen)
Zarniwoop: You'll be in the news and everything.
* SadisticCracker has the feeling zarniwoop is running out of comebacks. damn!
TOM: You should. Not just anybody gets made fun of by me.
Zarniwoop: Plus, you'll be dead, thus immeasurably improving our gene pool.
SadisticCracker: (amen as well)
SadisticCracker: wow zarniwoop, you sure are smart and intelligent! i'll be back, i feel the need to vomit all over myself now
Zarniwoop: You do that.
TOM: You forgot the period at the end of that sentence.
Zarniwoop: Try and choke on it, would you?
SadisticCracker: oops, my bad
masterko has left.
SadisticCracker: will do
TOM: Yes, it is, isn't it?
SadisticCracker: hey zarniwoop, i think your sexy as hell. lets hook up.
Zarniwoop: Sorry. I don't shag brainless morons.
SadisticCracker: too bad, you're really missing out
Zarniwoop: Try Yahboo.
SadisticCracker: hmm
Zarniwoop: You'll find plenty of people on your mental level there.
SadisticCracker: well i must be leaving now, ill see you tonight zarniwoop, you sexy thing you
SadisticCracker has left.
Zarniwoop: Plus, if we're lucky, you'll end up meeting someone and they'll kill you.
TOM: And a good time was had by all.
Zarniwoop: Wow. It worked.
TOM: A nickel says one will come back to see if we talk about them after they left.
Zarniwoop: Sorry. I don't take play money.
TOM: You're lucky, Zarn. I was considering abandoning you. ;-)
TOM: But I just couldn't leave a fellow man out to dry like that.

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